So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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