But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
