Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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