You made me cry and you don't even care
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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