And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
