Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
