Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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