it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize