That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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