He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
