eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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