margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
