you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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