I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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