have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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