Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
