i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize