sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
