I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
