My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
