Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
