he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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