i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
