Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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