if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
