I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
