At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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