I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
