I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
