Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
