i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
