i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
