is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
