i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
