If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize