absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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