Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
