I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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