But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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