i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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