We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize