i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
