He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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