all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize