theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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