let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
