Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
