wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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