people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
