And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
