"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
