why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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