Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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