Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
