Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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