when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
