just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
