worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
