Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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