Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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