I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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