I feel like abortions should bother me more
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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