It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
