Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
