so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
