Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
