Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
