What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
