he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
